Slammed

Sometimes you think that you are used to it but when it happens, you still feel like you have been hit square in the face.

Sometimes you feel like your life has been stolen from you, by people you should trust.

Sometimes you realize that you're watching your life through somebody else's and you have no control over it.

Sometimes you just feel confused, wanting and not wanting the same thing at the same time.

Sometimes you think you have moved on, only to realize that you have long been stuck and you feel like there's no way you can get out.

Sometimes you feel numb, because all the mixed emotions deep within you cannot be named anymore and you simply space out and feel nothing at all.

What's with the Boots?

Since early this morning, people kept noticing that I was wearing boots. These are not new and I have even worn them a lot of times but it was only today that I received such curious glances and second looks and amazed compliments as well.

I know it was because I decided to wear them the "proper" way, my pants tucked inside the boots. I normally hide the boots under the edges of my jeans because I have already anticipated such reactions when people see you wearing them.

I thought of how this may be one of the differences in living in a tropical country. If you wear boots in Switzerland or most of other European countries, you probably won't get any second looks as this is what they usually wear especially in the cold seasons.

In tropical countries, however, people wear boots for fashion. People wearing them usually stand out since not many people wear them everyday.

Personally, I am quite fond of wearing clothes for fall or winter. Back in Dubai where winter falls between ten to eighteen degrees at its lowest, I usually got excited to wear cold weather clothing.

But living in Singapore does not allow me such extravagance when it comes to winter clothing. However, these past few weeks, the weather has been a bit cold and wet, thanks to the rainshowers we experience of late. Though we have these occasional downpour the temperature does not get too low to warrant wearing thick wool or fur jackets.

And so I found myself settling in my old pair of boots, one of my most comfy footwears. I just hope that someday I will get to experience "real" winter where I can wear knee-high boots without being too flashy and illiciting curious glances again.

Bright Lights

I am always amazed by dazzling bright lights. The light symbolizes hope, wisdom and all of our heart's desires. The brighter they are, the more fervent our dreams become, wishing someday soon they will all come true.

The Artist

A painter, a singer, a writer, everyone is an artist in his own right. Some may praise you, some may mock you. But only you can say where your talent really lies. And as I had realized a long time ago, mine was never in painting! :D It was fun, though. ^_^

http://instagr.am/p/S5m81CNOda/

The Weight-Loss Program

I have been enticed to try out this weight-loss program recommended by a friend after I've seen his collegue's picture.

I'm on the fourth day of the weight-loss program. I know that I haven't religiously followed the meal replacement, I ate crap for dinner the first two days.

I feel lighter and I don't know if it's just psychological. Honestly, I'm struggling with this program right now. I get hungry in between meals and snacking on nuts doesn't satisfy my cravings.

Constipation is also another problem. I've read that this can be one of the side effects especially during the first week of the program. I am just thinking that probably my tummy is not yet accustomed to eating just a few food so I am not yet able to flush it out because my stomach is not yet "full".

I haven't done any exercise for the past three days as well. I must really set my mind on doing this because it will all come to waste if I don't.

I'm still feeling optimistic, I've just started afterall. I just have to be stricter and more driven. As always, I know that it's all in the mind.

The Hunger Games

I learned not to expect too much in film adaptations made from books, especially the ones that I read and loved and become addicted to so as not to get disappointed in the end. But The Hunger Games is different. It is one of those rare occasions that the movie is as close as the story in the book as it could be. Perhaps the fact that Suzanne Collins is one of the screenplay writers helped, since she herself is the author of the book.

Jennifer Lawrence seemed perfect to be Katniss Everdeen. She portrayed her role very well as a good hunter, a provider, a sister and a friend. Josh Hutcherson as Peeta Mellark and Liam Hemsworth as Gale Hawthorne were well played as well. Though I visualized Haymitch Abernathy as somewhat comical, Woody Harrelson played the part just as well, a drunkard yet with sense and a touch of seriousness and maturity in the role. Elizabeth Banks portrayed the role of Effie Trinket nicely as well though in my mind, I had someone more exaggerated. All in all, I believe the casting for the film was well thought of and the actors and actresses did give justice in their respective roles.

The settings of the scenes in the film were great especially depicting the differences in the most impoverished districts such as District 12 and The Capitol where everything was so lavish and exaggerated. There were obviously several differences between the novel and the film, yet the story in the film still captured it all. As what I've read in other reviews, I also believe that the film adaptation is more serious than what it depicts in the book. It is a story with sense and emotion that will truly capture the hearts of the movie-goers.

I personally rate The Hunger Games 4 stars out of 5. I just hope the next franchise would be shown earlier than the previously announced November 2013.

The First Dragon Boat Experience

I've been dying to try out dragon boating for sometime now and finally, I've come to experience it for the first time. The call time is 1 o'clock and I ran a bit late but we got there just fine. It felt funny that the place is just in Kallang and it was around the area where I used to live and yet I only got around to trying the sport now.

When I got there, I started to prepare. I put some sunblock cream on my face, put on a baseball cap, gloves and life vest. I was then given a wooden paddle, the length of which should be the height of my chest or armpits. We proceeded on the riverbanks where the senior dragon boaters briefed us and gave instructions.

As dragon boating is a serious sport, we did some stretching before proceeding to the boat where they will give instructions simultaneously as we paddle. There may be a lot of dragon boat techniques out there and I've read most of them but I listened and watched intently as the instructors shed them out.

The first command of the captain which sits at the bow or in front of the boat facing the rest of the crew and is usually the "drummer" is STAND-BY. This is where we hold the paddle with both hands, one hand holding the TEE (handle) of the paddle and the other hand holding the shaft three inches away from the blade. We position the paddle in front of us and lean half of the body forward. The captain then shouts PADDLES-UP, where we position the paddle 45 degrees away from the body at the side of the boat. Then we start paddling as the captain instructs and we submerge the blade of the paddle in the water to CATCH and PULL water, then EXIT from the side of the hip forming a "J" and repeat the process until the captain shouts EASY where we stop paddling altogether.

We did the entire paddling process counting by tens as the captain instructs for a fifty, forty or thirty strokes. We also did it by pairs, all the while coaching and instructing us with the correct positions and posture. When we reach the other part of the shore, we got out of the boat and the seniors taught us the techniques one on one. Then we start paddling again until we reach back the docks.


Personally, I find the sport quite enticing. The training is rigorous and a good workout for the body. My entire body will probably ache yet I have no regrets. I will definitely be back for more.

Another Beginning

Kicking off another start in blogging with pessimism is not entirely to my taste, yet here I am, tangled in my thoughts and emotions that I somehow realized that I had to recreate my blog. It only dawned on me that everything seemed wrong, starting from my blog title.

And so with a little bit of thinking and tinkering, I came up with this- The Barren Walls. What exactly do I mean by this? Well, it's just it- bare. As always, writing has been my most effective means of communication, not only with others, but to myself as well. Perhaps this might be a little confusing but with somebody like me, whose thoughts always run as quick as lightning, they all get messed up that the only way I can straighten things out is through expressing them in words.

I may not be in my high spirits lately, and I've definitely been better. But expressing myself once again made me realize how much I missed it. I came to like the new me, so bubbly and friendly, not my usual brooding self. But there are really some things that can wear you down. And as my usual solace, I return here. It's just like a prodigal son, or a reformed drug abuser, or a stray husband coming home to his wife, knowing that after all that's been said and done, he still has to come home.

There are things in my life for the past couple of years that I should really be thankful for, and I am really grateful. Even for the pain, the sorrow, or the loneliness, when all has passed, I came to look back and learn from them. I rushed and I fell. I picked myself up. I learned. And now I am careful. I can honestly say that I have become a better person. And this is only the beginning.

Secrets

Remembering "The Sorcerer's Apprentice" with this song. But even before the movie I already like this song and several other songs from One Republic.

Audio Books

I've been listening to audio books for several years now. They take my mind off stress at working and they just keep me going. I don't notice the time ticking by that I don't glance at the time to check whether it's already lunchtime or the most awaited time to go home. Recently, I got hold of copies with different genres, from romance to suspense to supernatural. Listening to audio books is really great but I don't recommend it to people who are not so multi-tasking or people who needs every bit of concentration to work other than listen to audio books.

Waking Up

I just woke up from a terrying nightmare. Not so frightening maybe but is so for me. I always feel that a presence of a snake in my dream always signifies something bad. I just hope it won't.

Can't go back to sleep and might just stay awake and get ready for another day. I'm having this anxiety attack again just when everything seems perfect. And maybe there is really nothing perfect that's why when everything runs smoothly something jumps in your way.

I hope and I know I'll get over it somehow. And it will all come to pass once again. It happens all the time. Especially now that everything seems to come to light I am more determined. And yes, I will wake up from a nightmare and into a glorious morning.

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Incomplete

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One Thing

Restless tonight
Cause I wasted the light
Between both these times
I drew a really thin line
It’s nothing I planned
And not that I can
But you should be mine
Across that line

[Chorus:]
If I traded it all
If I gave it all away for one thing
Just for one thing
If I sorted it out
If I knew all about this one thing
Wouldn’t that be something

I promise I might
Not walk on by
Maybe next time
But not this time

Even though I know
I don’t want to know
Yeah I guess I know
I just hate how it sounds

[Chorus x2]

Even though I know
I don’t want to know
Yeah I guess I know
I just hate how it sounds

Even though I know
I don’t want to know
Yeah I guess I know
I just hate how it sounds

[Chorus x3]

Flat Tire

A newbie on the road, I carefully drove. All tires were new, and there were a lot of roads ahead to choose where to try them on. Everything was a learning experience, everything was new. Then a new and shiny road appeared out of nowhere, it was too inviting and there were no second thoughts, I just veered off toward it.

The road was too wide, too smooth, a highway? Maybe. So I didn't notice that I was speeding off at a rate that I would have thought of at first. I didn't notice that I wasn't thinking anymore, that I didn't care anymore. I was enjoying the satisfaction that adrenaline rush gave me. I was enjoying the speed more than ever. I never thought to stop, or to look left or right. The wheels were spinning so fast that I hardly noticed anything at all. I just simply enjoyed the speed.

With the wheels running at wild speed, I never noticed the sharp object that I hit. I was still running at such speed when I noticed that I was suddenly slowing down because the wheels were deflating. The sharp object that I didn't see has punctured my tire and now it has completely put me to a halt. I got a flat tire.

I was stranded in the middle of nowhere. But deep in my thoughts, I know that somewhere, sometime, I would be able to find a spare tire. I would learn how to use the tools and change the flat tire. And when that time comes, I will try to drive more slowly and carefully. I will try to see signs and stops and bumps on the road. And I will be careful to notice sharp objects.

When my tire gets repaired or changed, I will be smart enough to think so I will never have flat tires again.

Rapunzel: Tangled

The Chair

There he sat again. At the same time everyday, he slowly makes his way towards that seat. He just sits there for what seemed like hours. He doesn't seem like he was waiting for something or someone. He doesn't seem like he was watching the stream or the people passing by or the trees and birds and other animals. He seems to be just sitting there without a care in the world. It seems like he is transported into another world. And maybe he is.

As he sit there, he looks so peaceful. In his solitude, it's as if he is another man. And maybe in his thoughts he is. Maybe he thinks he is somebody else, a billionaire, a powerful man, a famous celebrity. Perhaps he thinks he is with his family in a better place, with all the people he loves. Maybe he dreams that he has traveled the world, seen places and met people. Maybe he thinks he has no illness or that his wife and children are all safe and healthy and happy. Maybe he imagines that he is in a world with no war or hunger or poverty and sickness. Perhaps he dreams he is a better man.

In that chair he becomes everything he has ever wanted. In that seat he has everything he longs for. And if that chair gives him peace and happiness and contentment, then perhaps everyone should have a seat of their own.

Mini-Shopaholic

Nothing comes between Becky Brandon (née Bloomwood) and her bargains. Neither act of God nor budget crunch can shatter her dreams of wall-to-wall Prada. Every milestone in her well-shopped life (travel, long-lost sister, marriage, pregnancy) inspires new vistas to explore in the name of retail therapy. But now she faces her greatest little challenge yet: Becky’s two-year-old daughter, Minnie.

While motherhood has been everything Becky dreamed it would be—Baby Dior, Little Marc Jacobs, and Dolce & Gabbana for toddlers—adorable Minnie is wreaking havoc everywhere she goes, from Harrods to her own christening. Her favorite word is “MINE!” and her penchant for Balenciaga bags, Chanel sunglasses, and online purchases has no rival under age five.

Becky is at her wits end. On top of this, she and her husband Luke are still living with her parents. Thankfully it appears house buying attempt number four is a go! Until a huge financial crisis causes panic everywhere, and nobody wants to shop—not Becky’s personal shopping clientele, not her friends, nobody. And with Luke in the doldrums, it’s time for Becky to step in—with a party: A surprise birthday party for Luke (on a budget) is the perfect antidote to everyone’s woes. At first.

Will Becky manage to keep the party of the year a surprise? Can she hire jugglers, fire-eaters, and acrobats at a discount? Will enlisting the help of Luke’s unflappable assistant to convince him to have another baby realize her dream of matching pom-poms? Will Minnie find a new outlet for her energetic and spirited nature (perhaps one with sixty percent markdowns)? She is, after all, a chip off the old shopping block. And everyone knows a committed shopper always finds a way.

Source: http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/7415016-mini-shopaholic

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (Part 1)

I still can't quite get to grips that it's already the last installment of the Harry Potter series. I'm excited and I don't want to accept the fact that it's the beginning of the end. Yet, I was so looking forward to it.

And finally it's here. I would say that it's the film in the series that I liked best. I liked the way that the entire movie was in no hurry. Every Harry Potter book has so much in it that when made into movies a lot details are cut off. But since The Deathly Hallows is a two-part film, most of the essential parts in the book are all in the movie.

I wish that every Harry Potter movie was made into two parts. But if it did, perhaps I would die in anticipation every time I would have to wait for the next part. I can say that I am completely satisfied with this latest Harry Potter film and I can hardly wait that for the second part next year. Next year? Ugh! The waiting is a torture!

Is Forgiveness Always Divine?

A child takes birth and brings joy in the life of everyone with his smile. He is always happy himself and at the same time he makes everyone happy. As he grows older he experiences sweet and bitter incidents that encircle his life. The sweet experiences of life remain cherished. But when someone looks back upon the bitter ones, he is frustrated. And he is keen to punish the people responsible for adding bitter experiences in his life. He wants to make their life bitter too. But such grievances do not help others in rectifying themselves. Rather they become more aggressive.

We may possess grievances against many persons, and that too, may be for a number of reasons. You may be angry on someone for insulting you. Again you may want to put someone in prison for stealing your jewelry. May be these are valid reasons to be angry. But how far are we benefited from possessing grievances against others? Anger not only destroys others, it destroys us. Anger is fatal, forgiveness is rejuvenating.

However, forgiveness is an emotion that evolves from within a person. It can not be imposed. We can only forgive a particular person for his wrongdoing if we sincerely love him/her. Perhaps that is the reason why we can forgive our adolescent son when he is a little arrogant but can never do the same for our servant.

Lovers forgive infidelity of their partners. Why do they do so? They do it out of love. Some may say that "If we forgive our unfaithful partners, we would be taken for granted. Besides, our self respect is important." May be that is quite true. But if we never forgive our partners, we may deprive ourselves of affection and care that can be ours. When you forgive him/her even after he/she is unfaithful, you give him/her an opportunity to be happy. Simultaneously, you give yourself a chance to be happy too.

Surprisingly, forgiveness is something quite unpredictable. Perhaps most of the human emotions are. I personally know of a woman who was orphaned in her childhood and used to stay with her Uncle. He despised her for being a burden on the family. After she grew up, she complained that she had always been a neglected child. In some way she wished to punish him. But after some time her Uncle met with a heart attack and passes away. Sometime later she forgave him.

We may wonder why did that woman forgive her Uncle after his death? Did she feel sympathetic about him? Or did she forgive him because there was nothing she could do? I feel that would remain an unsolved mystery. But from the above incident we can infer that forgiveness is an emotion which is influenced by circumstances. Quite often we possess grievances against a person when he is alive but eventually forgive him after his death.

However some argue that forgiveness is a sign of weakness. A person forgives a wrongdoer when he fears the latter. I feel forgiving someone out of fear may be better termed as compromise. This is because when you forgive someone out fear you look for something in return. If we forgive a person fearing that he/she may be cause us more harm otherwise, that would be for own benefit. But forgiveness is selfless. It never looks for consideration.

Perhaps the greatest instance of forgiveness is depicted in Bible. Lord Jesus forgave the people who crucified him. He suffered the pain in silence. Did Jesus get any benefit out of it? No. Jesus did not get any benefit from the pains, because he never wanted anything. As I said, forgiveness is selfless.

Jesus died. But he became immoral in the minds of his followers. Forgiveness has always been regarded as a virtue on the part of the forgiver.

In the play "The Merchant Of Venice" William Shakespeare describes forgiveness. A few lines are quoted below.

"The quality of mercy is not strain'd,

It droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven

Upon the place beneath. It is twice blest:

It blesseth him that gives and him that takes."

The above words describe forgiveness. It is a virtue that blesses everyone. It purifies our heart, it purifies our soul. It makes our lives sublime.

Source: http://ezinearticles.com/?Is-Forgiveness-Always-Divine?&id=297908

The Last Airbender

The film begins with a fourteen-year-old Waterbender girl named Katara, and her older fifteen-year-old warrior brother, Sokka from the Southern Water Tribe, unfreeze an Iceberg with a 12-year-old boy Aang, and a flying bison named Appa, inside of it. This attracts the attention of Zuko, the Prince of the Fire Nation who was exiled by his father: The current Fire Lord Ozai. Arriving to Southern Water Tribe, Zuko demands the elderly under the impression that Avatar is an old person until Aang is found. Aang surrenders himself to Zuko as long as he agrees to leave the village alone. Aboard Zuko's ship, Aang is at Zuko's mercy, but he dares the two escorts that he could take them both in a fight with both of his hands tied behind his back. Eventually he manages to maneuver away from the guards before Katara and Sokka arrive on Appa, making their escape. Aang and friends visit the Southern Air Temple where the Avatar learns that he was in the ice for a century and the Fire Nation wiped out everyone he knew there, entering the Avatar State and revealing to the world that the Avatar has returned via spiritually significant statues begin to glow, just like Aang's eyes and tattoos. It was there Aang meets up with the only known remaining "flying lemur", naming it "Momo" as it joins Aang's group. Meanwhile, Commander Zhao invites Prince Zuko and Iroh for lunch, only to humiliate Zuko in front of his men.

Arriving in a small Earth Kingdom town that is controlled by the Fire Nation, Aang's group are arrested while helping a boy named Haru there. They then incite a rebellion with reminding the disgruntled Earthbenders that earth was given to them through the air ducts. Soon after, Katara finds a waterbending scroll that she uses to perfect her skills while helping Aang master waterbending as they make their way to the Northern Water Tribe and liberate more Earth Kingdom villages in the process. During a side track to the Northern Air Temple on his own, Aang is betrayed by a peasant and captured by a group of Fire Nation Yuu Yan archers, commanded by Zhao. However, a masked marauder, the "Blue Spirit", helps Aang escape from his imprisonment. Aware that Zuko is the "Blue Spirit," Zhao arranges the prince's demise. But Zuko survives the attempt on his life and, with Iroh's help, sneaks aboard Zhao's lead ship as his fleet departs for the Northern Water Tribe to execute the plan he and Ozai set up with the scrolls from the Library detailing the spirits there.

Upon arriving, Aang's group is welcomed warmly by the citizens of the Northern Water Tribe. Sokka falls in love with Princess Yue, while Aang and Katara master their waterbending skills under Pakku. Once the Fire Nation armada arrives, Zhao begins his attack while Zuko infiltrates the tribe on his own, capturing Aang while he entered the spirit world to find the dragon spirit to give him the wisdom to defeat the Fire Nation. Coming to his senses, Aang battles Zuko before Katara freezes him. As the battles escalates, Iroh watches Zhao slay the moon spirit Tui, causing the waterbenders to lose their power. However, Yue, who was imbued with some of the energy of the Moon spirit when she was a newborn, sacrifices her life to revive the Moon spirit. As Zhao is drowned by Waterbenders after Zuko and Iroh leave him to his fate, Aang uses the ocean to drive the armada back. Aang now fully embraces his destiny as the Avatar and prepares to continue their struggle against Ozai. When news of Zhao's death and Iroh's betrayal reaches him, Ozai appoints his daughter Azula to capture both her Uncle and Brother.