Another End

The days seem to move with surprising speed. But they have moved in a whirlwind of ominous monotony. I'm not sure if I should be happy or not. It seems that the days are not enough to do what needs to be done or simply to do what I wanted to do. But sometimes the days feel so long and dragging.

I feel so trapped in the routine of everyday living that I feel like cracking up a bit just to break the tedium. How I wish that I could just snuggle under my bed covers and wake up when I already feel up to it. How I wish that I could fly to a distant place where all I could hear is the cracking of the waves on the shore. How I wish that I could simply make an escape.

Sigh. But I can't. This is another end that looks forward to a new beginning of same old boring routine. And I have no idea when I could finally escape, when I could finally be set free.

The Joy of the Unexpected

Amidst all the sad and unstoppable going ons here in the office because of the financial crisis, a truly unexpected thing happened yesterday. The knowledge that it is July, the month for bonuses, has been completely driven out of my mind. Who would have guessed that such thing still exists when just last week more than a dozen people got their notices that they will have to cease work after the end of the month? Then there is the abominable decrease in salary which took effect last month.

But it was a truly wonderful surprise to have received the white envelope. I received an email from a colleague that our boss was wandering and handing out envelopes. I didn't know why but I immediately thought that it was good news. I somehow wished I hadn't known beforehand though, then I will be truly surprised. Nevertheless, it was still quite a shock. I waited for my boss to hand me over the mysterious envelope. And when I finally got it, I can't help but put a big grin on my face.

My boss told me not to get overexcited because it was not that much. It was really not that much, not even half of what I previously received. But it's not the amount that has sent me over the moon. It was the fact that there is something, even so tiny, and it is definitely better than nothing.

Before all the euphoria has worn out, I got into a deep thought. Everybody seemed so happy about the little surprise though it was such a tiny thing when the previous year, I have heard a lot of rants as to why their bonuses were not enough though it was triple of the amount we just received. Then there's the realization that the fact that it was truly unexpected made the big difference. Everyone has expected nothing but when they got a tiny thing, they were overly grateful.

Perhaps people should always be like this. We should not expect for too much things because when we receive something less than what we expected, we will get a heavy disappointment. On the other hand, when we don't expect for anything and get small things unexpectedly, we will truly be grateful. Then this is the key to our happiness and contentment.

Living in a World of Men

I sometimes caught myself thinking if I am in the right place. Sometimes I feel awkward finding myself in a group of men, the only female among them. I don't really find it disturbing, but I am just amazed to realize that I blend well with them.

Looking back, I thought growing up with men made me understand them more. As I am the eldest, I usually mingle with a lot of guy cousins while I was growing up. Though I started in an exclusive school for girls, I never had any aversions with dealing with the opposite sex. I have learned to adjust with them, frequently on the same page with them. One thing I have realized though, is that men and women are equal. I know this has been an ancient battle of the sexes but as we acknowledge that there are things men can do and women can't or men can't and women can, we may say that we are equal. No need to pride ourselves to pinpoint who's the superior one.

There are pros and cons, as there are always two sides of a coin. But I'd rather not dwell on the disadvantages. I find it amazing to be living in a world of men in the sense that I really belong there. Male dominates the workplace but I never find it hard dealing with them. I even smile when I read emails addressed as "Lady and Gents", making me feel distinct and special. I find them easier to persuade and eager to listen to whatever you say.

There are occupational hazards but as I said, it is simply amazing. As a realization though, there is no such thing as a world of men. We all belong in the same world.